Decoding the Facebook: Week of 10/29

We help you figure out what your friends are really trying to say!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

 

Are you suffering from obscure Facebook status updates from your friends and family? Want to get the bottom of what your friends are really trying to say? Well, worry no more. We here at CRAVE Online have invented a helpful little guide to help you figure out what your friends and family are really trying to say.

This week we took to the internet and found you some Facebook status updates that were in dire need of being decoded. This is CRAVE ONLINE's DECODING THE FACEBOOK SERIES. 

Take a look:

 

What they're really trying to say: I haven't felt this insecure about my appearence since my last girlfriend told me I looked like Conan O'Brien's face with Danny DeVito's body. 

 

What they're really trying to say: If he turns this into emo X-Men, I'm going to take back every nice thing I said about Superman Returns… oh, wait. 

 

What they're really trying to say: When I drink too much and tell you how I want to take you into my basement for "ouch time" — you know I'm only joking, right? 

 

What they're really trying to say: Finally figured out what the f*ck a "Cloud Atlas" was. I need a drink. 

 

What they're really trying to say: Just doing my part so when either candidate is elected I can say, "I fought against tyranny," or "I told you so" at all my friends. 

 

What they're really trying to say: But if you're a bear… I f*cking hate bears. 

 

What they're really trying to say: I just want everyone out there to know I'm on top. Now who wants to wash my balls? 

 

What they're really trying to say: Daddy hits you because he doesn't want you to be like him. 

 

What they're really trying to say: If you've never masturbated to a man running away from a T-Rex, you haven't lived. 

 

Stay Tuned to CRAVE for more DECODING THE FACEBOOK!