History doesn’t just happen during the workweek you guys.
I hope everybody stays safe in their Halloween parties this weekend. But that doesn’t mean “play it safe” when it comes to getting more smashed than a pumpkin on a front doorstep. If I don’t see pics the next day of you as “Sexy” Super Mario bending over a dude dressed at Slenderman I’ll officially call a redo on your holiday, sir.
1904 – The New York City subway opens
… and thousands of homeless rejoice by emptying their urinary tracts into all 9.1 miles of it.
1659 – Two Quakers executed for religious beliefs in Massachusetts Bay Colony
Did you know the original name for the Quakers was the Religious Society of Friends? I think I’ve seen that group somewhere before…
1962 – The United States and Soviet Union step back from the brink of Nuclear War
In the biggest historical case of “he said, she said” President Kennedy and Nikita Krushchev engaged in a nuclear Mexican standoff with Cuba in the middle. Kennedy agreed not to attack Russian ships headed for Cuba only if Russia said they were really, really sorry.
Then secretly the U.S. twisted the Kremlin’s balls over removing missiles from Cuba or we’d stomp the s**t out of them. AMERICA. F. YEAH.
1873 – Joseph Glidden applies for a patent on the invention of barbed wire
Though it signaled the end of large cattle drives across unencumbered land… the hardcore Japanese wrestling community imported it with aplomb.
‘Death Match’ wrestler Onita was quoted as saying, “I can’t wait to use it!”
1886 – Statue of Liberty dedicated
The statue used to commemorate friendship between France and the United States would later be brought to life in 1989 to stop a painting of a 17th century tyrant from taking over New York. Thanks France!
1961 – Chuck Berry goes on trial for violating the Mann Act
Just goes to show you it wasn’t THAT EASY to take groupies with you on the road in the 60‘s. “But she said she was 21!” you’d complain “And Native American girls shouldn’t be that hot.” Unfortunately, both arguements will fall on deaf ears in court.
1967 – Julia Roberts is born
… damning young actresses forever for their lack of three extra teeth on the upper and lower palette.
1965 – The Gateway Arch is completed in St. Louis, MO
The 603-foot silver ribbon would be the last thing St. Louis would be famous for as Chicago totally ganked our railroad business. Surprisingly, the fur trade is still active in the city, but now you get a sack of White Castles with every 5th pelt!
I also do a podcast that takes a comedic look at history every week on Crave Online called Historectomy, give it a listen and subscribe on iTunes!