Are you suffering from obscure Facebook status updates from your friends and family? Want to get the bottom of what your friends are really trying to say? Well, worry no more. We here at CRAVE Online have invented a helpful little guide to help you figure out what your friends and family are really trying to say.
This week we took to the internet and found you some Facebook status updates that were in dire need of being decoded. This is CRAVE ONLINE's DECODING THE FACEBOOK SERIES.
Take a look:
What they're really trying to say: If I keep it truly Michael Jackson, fifty kids on the witness stand is going to be the most epic part.
What they're really saying: Last night I was driving and I ran over a deer. Unclean. I have become death. I must fix things before the fire consumes us all.
What they're really trying to say: You ever take one of those poops that makes you feel like you slept for a year? Yeah, I just did that.
What they're really trying to say: And if you arrange the lungs and kidneys in the right place, you can really make her 'pop'.
What they're really trying to say: If Dina Lohan hasn't gotten the death penalty by now, there's something wrong with the system.
What they're really trying to say: FEEL SORRY FOR ME!!! The bitch Janice who works in loss prevention totally switched shifts with BJ, now my weekend is totally screwed!
What they're really trying to say: This this time I mean it: Tony Stark, you're an asshole.
What they're really trying to say: Fingers crossed that Michael Vick watches my puppy while I'm on vacation.
What they're really trying to say: Next time when I see a little kid playing with a Woody doll from Toy Story, I'm going to tell him Tom Hanks is dead.
– Stay Tuned to CRAVE for more Decoding the Facebook!