If you've gone out to eat anywhere new in the past two years or so, chances are you've used Yelp.com to review what other people are saying about your dinner destination. But, did you know that people also used Yelp a long time ago in a galaxy far far away?
We here at CRAVE have just dropped out of hyperspace to bring you the Yelp reviews of Tatooine's own Mos Eisley Cantina and what the patrons are saying about the desert's hottest club.
Take a look:
IG-88 – Homeworld: Hollowan Laboratories – Yelp Member since 9/2009
"Let me first start off by saying that I am not a “HUGE” drinker. In fact, I don’t really drink at all, you see, because I am an artificially intelligent assassin droid. But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the nice ambience and free valet. When you walk into the Mos Eisley Cantina, you are immediately taken in by the homey atmosphere and earthy-desert feel. But, honestly, can’t someone dust this place every once in a while? I mean, my circuit boards were grimy for weeks afterwards. The server, Maleark Fungo, was a polite enough and the house band was entertaining, but it seemed like they only knew one song. My California Turkey wrap was a little dry but good overall. I think I would come here again." *** out of ******
Dr. Evanzan – Homeworld: Alsakan – Yelp Member since 09/08
"This place is the worst piece of sh*t bar I have ever been to. It’s supposed to have great Happy Hour specials, right? A bucket of Coors for five bucks. So, I go there right and I’m having a couple of drinks with my buddy who’s got a mouth that looks like an orangutan ass, and we’re drinking, up until this one gay little kid and his uncle cut my friend’s arm off FOR NO REASON. You’ll never find me at the Mos Eisley Cantina again. Also, my friend need some help opening ketchup bottles." * out of ******
Random Jawa – Homeworld: Tatooine – Yelp Member since 04/05
"I come here for scum and villainy and stay for the curly fries! The Mos Eisley Cantina is my new home away from home. Could have a better band tho." ***** out of ******
Momaw Nadon – Homeworld: Ithor – Yelp Member since 11/07
"I’ve lived in Mos Eisley for ages now and I never knew this place was here! It’s a cute, fun little watering hole. But it’s not safe for the entire family. I heard some ass-faced guy got his arm cut off just for talking to a blonde kid. The food is well-priced and can be served in liquid form if you don’t have teeth like me! Overall, I think the Mos Eisley rocks, and the bartenders don’t skimp on the booze like at some other joints on Tatoonie. ALSO: karaoke on Wednesdays!!!!" ****** out of ******
Bib Fortuna – Homeworld: Ryloth – Yelp Member since 12/11
"This place is good for two things: Finding backup dancers for Jabba’s Palace and the Cobb Salad. That’s about it." **** out of ******
Greedo – Homeworld: Rodia – Yelp Member since 06/09
"F*ck this place." * out of ******
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