Quiz: Which Game of Thrones Character Are You?

Are you a noble warrior, or a sister-slammin’ knight? Find out here!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

In case you haven’t heard, Game of Thrones is the coolest TV show in the world. We’re heading towards the end of another great season and we thought we’d put forth the question – which Game of Thrones character are you?

Take the quiz and find out. But don’t be surprised if you don’t like what you find.

 

1.) On a scale from 1 to 10, how attractive do you find your sister?

a.) “What the hell are you asking me?”

b.) I’ve been wrecking that since the crib.”

c.)  “Now? A two. Without her head? An eleven.”

d.)  “A six from the waist down.”

 

2.) What is your favorite Rolling Stone’s Song?

a.) “I Can’t Get No (Satisfaction)”

b.) “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”

c.) “Paint it Black”

d.) “Sympathy for the Devil”

 

3. What is your relationship like with your parents?

a.) “My dad’s cool, I guess. My mom was most likely a prostitute.”

b.) “I’m my dad’s favorite. Obviously.”

c.) “My dad was a Dark Ages version of Homer Simpson. My mom is a ray of sunshine.”

d.) “I don’t get along with my dad, mostly because I killed my mom.”

 

4. What is your attitude towards sex?

a.) Gee, golly, um…. Honor is the only thing that turns me on.”

b.) “Vice is nice, but incest is best.”

c.) “Why have sex when I can get my boners by shooting small animals with my crossbow?”

d.) I haven’t woken up without pubes in my teeth since grade school.

 

5. What do you do when a bully taunts you?

a.) “Defend the honor of my house with virtue and nobility.”

b.) “Slice them open from bellybutton to sternum.”

c.) “Bitch and moan whilst bidding my creepy deformed manservant to kill them.” 

d.) “Back down, only to hatch a complicated plan that involves me screwing their wife.”

 

6. What did you do on your first date?

a.) “Dragged her around by a rope in Wildling country.”

b.) “Dinner, followed by naptime. “

c.) “Chopped off her father’s head in the town square.”

d.) “Got married… and…things didn’t work out so great for her.”

 

7. Do you have any nicknames?

a.) “The Bastard.”

b.) “The Kingslayer”

c.) “The Sociopathic King of Westeros”

d.) “The Imp” or “The coolest mother*cker on the Planet”

 

8. If you could have any sigil for your house, what would it be?

a.) “The noble wolf.”

b.) “Two siblings kissing.”

c.) “A head on a spike.”

d.) “A keg of mead and a pair of fat breasts.”

 

9. What is the biggest obstacle in your life?

a.) “Finding my true place in the world.”

b.) “Breaking out of jail.”

c.) “Cutting off the hands or the feet first.”

d.) “Puddles.”

 

If you answered mostly (a), congrats, you’re Jon Snow. Bound to a life of dedication and a frozen nut sack.

If you answered mostly (b), congrats, you’re Jaime Lannister. Despite your ability to have any girl in the kingdom, you picked the one you share a chromosome with.

If you answered mostly (c), congrats, you’re Joffery Baratheon. No one has ever, or will never like you.

If you answered mostly (d), congrats, you’re Tyrion Lannister. An awesome character but doomed never to be tall enough for an amusement park.