There are many perks to being a cat owner. Their purrs are very soothing and filming a cat’s antics might get you many views on The YouTubes. However, as every cat owner knows, in the morning those fuzzy assholes will do anything to wake you up and get fed. They’re like walking, ruthless little alarm clocks. Here are 8 cat methods for waking up humans:
Biting and Scratching
Not in the face! Not in the face!
Walking On Chest and Face
What better place to take a stroll than a person’s body?
Batting At The Door Spring
Okay, time to chop that thing off.
This is considered subtle for a cat.
Blind humans can still get them food.
How punk rock of this fat cat.
Swinging A Baseball Bat
Not-so-desperate times call for overly-harsh measures.
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Header via.