Quiz: Are you a D-Bag?

Are you a big Delta Bravo? Find out here!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

They say that ignorance is bliss. Chances are, if you're a d-bag, you probably don't know it. You probably think you're the coolest guy doing curls at the gym.

We have developed a little quiz to help you really figure if you are a d-bag or not. WARNING: You may not like what you find. 

Take the quiz below and discover once and for all if you're going to burn in the eternal fire of axe body spray!


1. What kind of music do you like?

a.) I don’t really listen to music.

b.) I’m fine with anything on the radio.

c.) I like fist-pumping club beats.

d.) I only listen to MMA fighter entrance music and techno.


2. How be-dazzled is your graphic t-shirt right now?

a.) Um?

b.) Just a plain shirt.

c.) Just a few rhinestones.

d.) I can’t tell where the shirt ends and the sparkles begin, bitch.


3. What does your first date look like?

a.) I don’t really go on “first” dates.

b.) A nice dinner, maybe a movie.

c.) Loud club. Shots. Make out. Boom.

d.) I tell her I’m taking her out, but then I tell her I forgot to make a reservation and take her to buffalo wild wings.


4. What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?

a.) I don’t drink.

b.) Any beer will do.

c.) Jager bombs.

d.) A “Tan Schoolgirl” (Malibu rum, Stoli, Mango, and Axe body spray)


5. What kind of car do you drive?

a.) A Prius.

b.) A Chevy Malibu.

c.) An Escalade.

d.) I drive a supped up Ford Taurus with a five foot spoiler.


6. What’s your favorite book?

a.) The Dictionary

b.) Lord of the Flies

c.) I don’t read. What is this, school?

d.) The Rape Response Kit instructions.


7. How tan are you?

a.) I try to stay out of the sun. I burn easy.

b.) I like to have a nice tan, weather permitting.

c.) All year round, baby!

d.) I like a nice, healthy yellowish-orange hue.


8. How do you feel about Jersey Shore?

a.) F-ck that show.

b.) I’ve never seen it.

c.) I love it! It’s so great!

d.) I don’t watch it, I live it.


9. How do you spend your spare time?

a.) I collect stamps.

b.) TV is a gold standard.

c.) I like to dry hump women on the dance floor.

d.) When I’m not lifting, I’m drinking. When I’m not drinking, I’m messing with my hair. When I’m not messing with my hair, I’m pinching my nipples in the mirror. And I look good doing it.


If you answered mostly (a) – you’re lame as hell and need to get out more.

If you answered mostly (b) – you’re doing pretty well for yourself.

If you answered mostly (c) – you’re dangerously close to douche bag territory.

If you answered mostly (d) – you are, in fact, a d-bag. God help you.


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