How to Have a Romantic New Year’s Eve

Forget the crap you’ve seen on tv. It’s time to live life. 

Lane Cummingsby Lane Cummings

Perhaps it’s just going to be you and the pooch, you and the bros or heck, for some of our readers, you and an actual living and committed partner. Regardless of whom you’ll be ringing in the new year with, try ringing in the new you: the un-boring, un-predictable and un-humdrum you. I know, I know, I’m not quite sure you can manage it either. Let’s see.

Buy a new shirt. I’m not talking about some patterned monstrosity that is going to make it look like you’re emulating Kurt Cobain and Bill Cosby. Stick to solid colors. New shirt. New you. New Year. You’re setting a foundation for romance to fall into your lap—or giving your friends a welcome change of pace with an absence of that very distinct odor of you they dutifully endure.

Don’t dance unless you genuinely love and enjoy dancing. Don’t bother showing off your shagtastic moves or how super cool, like, right out of a music video you are when you hit the floor. It will probably look like you’re reliving an episode of 90210 (the OLD version) in your head. You'll look like Andrea, the nerdiest and lamest member of the crew (when they deigned to invite her out). Don’t do it. Don’t make others bear witness.

Play to win. Nothing says romantic like the words “drinking game” and there’s no better time to consume enough alcohol to land you in an early grave than NYE. Regardless of who you’re with, pour some pink champagne (yes, I said pink because I think you could use some pink for the new you) and get her done. Make it a state capital drinking game or a which-heinous-episode-of-Friends-was-this-unlikely-scenario-from? However, if you initiate, you got to win. Nothing’s going to feel better when you win the final round of champagne Pictionary, even if you are so drunk that you felt justified in peeing on your neighbor’s welcome mat.

Don’t fall down the stairs. Not only does it hurt and could potentially land you in the hospital, but it makes you look like you’re as thick as grandma’s gravy. And who wants to get it on with a thick-o?

 

Light candles. Listen, don’t salute me on my originality, just commend me on the fact that I know and am willing to admit that people forget to do some of the most obvious things that will bring romance in their lives (like showering and flossing). Hanging out with the bros on NYE? Light some candles. You’ll feel like you’re somewhere. Hanging with the old ball and chain? Light some candles. You’ll both look better in the dimmer light and after a few drinks, really look better than ever. Everybody wins.