Orange You Glad I’m Still Doing This?

Because, seriously, who else would?

Kyle Krinerby Kyle Kriner


Kyle Kriner here again, folks, to once again break down the barriers of race through cool fictional characters. If there's room for these guys in our lives, then there's no reason why we should discriminate against anyone.  I mean, when's the last time you met an orange guy in real life anyway?  Wait, does that make sense?  Yeah, in some way it does, I think.  Before I get too confused, here's our favorite group of orange guys.


Possibly the laziest character in fiction, but he is impossible not to love.  So miserable, so cynical, but yet so relatable.  Let's be honest with ourselves; how many of us wish we could sleep till noon, wake up, eat a tray of lasagna, complain about things to our landlord, then pass back out?  Oh yeah, all of us.  So let's not hate Garfield for living the dream.  Besides, it's not all peaches and cream, he still has to deal with the complete lack of intelligence from Odie.
Even though the movie wasn't titled after him, Marlin still deserves a ton of praise.  This guy was willing to swim to the ends of the earth to find his kid.  Even if it meant dealing with an amnesiac Ellen Degeneres-voiced fish to do it.  That's more than I could probably deal with.  But if that wasn't enough, he even dueled with sharks.  By dueled, I of course just mean he was able to get away from them, but still, that's once again more than I could deal with.
The Thing
Good ol' Ben Grimm.  Yancy Street's most familiar face.  Sure he's horribly ugly, but he gets it.  He can't change it, so he accepts it.  Better yet, he uses it to save the world, constantly.  He certainly isn't the brains of the operation (ever) but without him in the Fantastic Four, who else would do the clobberin'?  They need Ben, just like we all do.  Because we all know how it feels to be the odd man out, or to be misunderstood.  This guy is all that and more.  You gotta love him.
Tony The Tiger
Man, this guy could probably sell anything.  He's buff, he's happy, he's downright inspirational.  Sure, he's not promoting the most healthy food in the world, but that's not the point.  He's proven his athletic prowess time and time again, in almost every sport out there.  I wouldn't be surprised if someday we see a cereal crossover, and Tony pops up on a Wheaties box.  If Michael Phelps can be on one, Tony definitely should.
Crash Bandicoot
Is it weird if I see Crash as the Indiana Jones of videogames?  He's a bold, fearless adventurer.  He plunges into the depths of any jungle, or frozen wasteland.  All to stop his arch nemesis, Neo Cortex.  Or at least that's usually the case.  He even has to outrun boulders from time to time.  Which I have to admit is darn right fun, no matter what age you are.  Crash is to Sony like Sonic is to Sega, like Mario is to Nintendo.  He's our favorite dingo, and we salute him for it.