Which Muppet are You?

You loved them as a child, perhaps too much!

Lane Cummingsby Lane Cummings

You grew up with their shows and their movies. You might have even had a Muppet plush toy that you squeezed and cuddled in bed as a child. That’s nice. Take this quiz to figure out which Muppet has most greatly shaped your character.

You’ve been invited to a party. What do you bring?

a.       I hate parties! My gift would be one of not showing up to such a sorry event, ha ha!!

b.      A tasty casserole.

c.       The best dish in the world! The best dish this party has ever seen!!!

d.      I will buy a cake and then half eat it, half smear the remains of the cake on the windshield of a random car, while screaming and doing my best to crack the windshield.

e.      Whatever my friends tell me to bring, I'll bring.


What is your perfect birthday gift?

                   a.       Wow, aren’t you cutting to the heart of the matter with a question like that. What’s next, you’re going to ask me if I wear boxers or briefs? None of your damn business you little punk! Ha ha!

                   b.      Anything my friends or family want to get me is fine.

                   c.       A gold helmet so that I look spectacular when I test out my new flying machine.

                   d.      I don’t care. Anything I get I’m going to break in half; throw one half out a plate glass window and shove the other half into the leek soup at the nearest café. While screaming.

                   e.      M. M. mi. mi. ek da!


You have a cold, what will you do to make yourself feel better?

                    a.       I hate colds, but more than that, I hate this damn question. Maybe next time, I’ll make up the questions and you can answer them, Einstein. Ha ha!

                    b.      Plenty of rest and plenty of fluids.

                    c.       I go into my special healing chamber and I harness the powers of my mind to bring me back to health while drinking eucalyptus oil, sweating and singing Lady of Spain on the accordion with my feet.

                    d.      Last night I crowd surfed naked at a Prince concert, got up on stage, ate some of the           scenery, kicked several security guards in the nuts, climbed a rope and tried to choke myself with it. So I won’t do that tonight.

                    e.      Whatever my friends tell me to take, I will take.


Who’s your hero?

                    a.       Not you, that’s for damn sure, after asking me all these dumb questions.

                    b.      My dad (or mom).

                    c.       I am the world’s hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    d.       G.G. Allin after an 8-ball.

                    e.      M.m. ick, be, m bu mi mi be!

Mostly A’s

You’re Statler or Waldorf (give or take). These are the grumpy old men that like to heckle the performances of other Muppets. You don’t like or appreciate much in life, except for a belief in your own wit and superiority. Hmm.


Mostly B’s

You’re Kermit. You’re a pretty normal, I’m okay, you’re okay type of dude. You have friends. People like you. You might even be the go-to guy of your group. You might need to assert yourself more, (from say, aggressive women or pigs) but other than that, you’re doing well.


Mostly C’s

You’re Gonzo. You are visions of grandeur incarnate. You never doubt your strengths or abilities, even if you border on pure wackiness. A lot of your friends don’t take you seriously. A lot of your friends think you could use a trip to a shrink or some well chosen meds.


Mostly D’s

You’re Animal. What does this mean? You’re a mess. You’re angry, violent and often unintelligible. You are the one in the group that does crazy shit. All the time. Few people understand you. You’re mostly invited out as there’s never a dull moment with you and people see you as cheap entertainment.


Mostly E’s

You’re Beaker. You don’t say or feel much. You’re the equivalent of a fork that moves. You let your friends bully you and push you around. You need to work on standing up for yourself and coming out of your shell. Fast.