Things to Appreciate About the Crazy Cat lady

If you can forget that the sounds coming from her apartment make it appear that stuff is going down that is...  against God’s plan. 

Lane Cummingsby Lane Cummings

She has a calling. Her calling is cats. You got to appreciate that. She’s got a path. The path has chosen her. It’s lined with fur and cat nip.

She’s devoted to her calling. If she wasn’t devoted to her calling, she wouldn’t have so many damn cats.

Her self-esteem is lower than yours. Hey! That’s got to feel good, reader. Someone out there has lower self-esteem than you. What a nice change of pace. But if you think about it, that has to be the case. If your self esteem were at any normal level, you wouldn’t need 27 cats named anything from Mr. Marmalade to Bumpers to make her feel loved and needed.

She stays warmer than you do at night. You know why.

She’s lost her sense of smell. While you can’t confirm this for sure, it has to be the only way one could withstand all those animals, all that litterbox use and all that cat breath.

She hasn’t killed anyone yet, we think. You see, her nuttiness is certifiable, that’s why she has so many damn cats. Yet she’s chosen to allow it to manifest this way, instead of say, baking a cherry pie, shaking some rat poison on the cherries and leaving it on the door step of her neighbor (you).

She hasn’t procreated. Whew!