We're all bummed that the chances of an NBA season are looking bleaker by the day, but do not fret, for I have come to save you!
Here are the 10 best things you can do in the absence of a 2011-2012 NBA Season.
10. Play in a league
Yes, we've decided, you're a lazy ass. And we also know that when your favorite team wins or loses it's always, "we won" or "we lost". Well I hate to break it to you but you weren't actually on the floor. So, turn your life around and head out to the courts. Start a team in a league and make your idols proud.
9. Laser Life with "Birdman" Chris Andersen
That's right, there's a new reality show now in the absence of the NBA season. Chris Andersen of the Denver Nuggets isn't sitting at home crying over a lost NBA season, no he's parlaying his tattooed body into a new reality show where each tat will be painfully laser-removed per episode. From what I've heard he's really only doing it so that he can get a real job now that he's no longer a basketball player. Don't worry though, if the NBA comes back he has promised to have all of the removed tats replaced.
8. March is free, hit up Spring Break!
Yeah college basketball is in the midst of March Madness, but lets be honest, if you're an NBA fan you probably have a strong disdain towards the collegiate ranks. So relive those long lost memories and get crunk-nasty on the third week of March. Lets all band together a make Daytona Beach a destination location once again. Maybe MTV will cover the party.
7. Oceanic Water Polo
Animals will work for food. They don't need millions upon millions of dollars. You could wrangle a bunch of dolphins and teach them to play water polo. Just don't tell Michael Vick, we don't need him getting involved.
6. Follow the Canadian Curling Team
This sport has done nothing but absolutely explode in popularity. Guys will watch it because it's awesome. Girls will watch it because there's something about watching a guy use a broom that is just a dream come true for them. I don't get it. Then again I have a messy apartment. And I'm single. Whatever.
5. Spend your NBA money on hot women at bars
Tickets are expensive. Not to mention parking, drinks, food and whatever else you spend money on at the game. Now that there won't be any games to go to, you should head to the bar with the hottest girls and throw down the bills son. Make it rain. Buy rounds for everybody. Who knows if it will get you a girl, but it's worth a shot. Plus, you'll feel like a bad ass while you're doing it.
4. Date a Kardashian
Maybe you all haven't realized this, but the somewhat materialistic stars of the reality show universe are now married to unemployed men. Time to swoop gentlemen. If you have to fight Lamar or that other no-name that plays for the Nets, just stay low, they won't be able to reach you. Plus, the younger sister is a model, and even though she's 15 now, you can invest some time in the family so that when she turns 18 you can make that happen. Sure, it's creepy, but you're kind of creepy. Admit it.
3. Learn to cook a mean quiche
Now that you're using your money to pick up hot girls, or date a Kardashian, you're gonna want to know how to whip up a great breakfast. Nothing's better than a solid breakfast quiche. Yeah, they're not sexy and a bit boring, but creating a breakfast that mirrors who you are is romantic to some.
2. Sub in NBA 2K12 for the full season
Pop the new 2K sports basketball game into your system and play the 82 game season on your own. It will last you all the way until June and you'll feel like the season never went away. Plus, you can play as your favorite classic teams! I'll take the '91 Bulls over every current team any day of the week.
1. Enjoy your days watching CraveOnline Original Video Series'
Ok, shameless plug, I admit it. But there's some funny stuff on here. We've got "Balls" which is our sketch comedy show that makes fun of the sports news of the week, "Pub Culture" that follows Lindsay as she reviews all the best beers from around the world, "2D-Batman at the Office" which is just plain awesome, "Moto Man" where we feature all the best automotive news and reviews, and tons of other video content from live events and gaming and dear lord, a lot of other shit. Check out the Videos Page for more!
Well guys, it's gonna be a long year without NBA basketball. Hopefully they work things out, but if they don't, you now have a list to keep you busy. Enjoy the year!
Photo Credit: ASSOCIATED PRESS