8 Really Intense Arcade Commercials

These ads are turbo scary to the max!

Geoffrey Goldenby Geoffrey Golden

Back in the day, if you were a video game publisher or arcade owner, the ad agency would ask you, “how intense would you like your TV commercial to be?” If you didn’t answer in the first three seconds, they’d follow up with “okay, wicked intense it is!” Though I don’t have any proof that actual conversation ever took place, it seems like it must have, given what arcade ads used to be like…


Arcade Games


Feel like a geometric shape in a world of geometric shapes!


Star Wars

Tie-Fighters! Fireballs! I’m jazzing in my paaaaaaaaants!



Which is weirder: the monsters or that announcer voice?


Mortal Kombat 3

Those Babalities really mess with your head.



Timezone Arcade

In Australia, your head spins the other way around.


Chuck E. Cheese

Uh… perhaps… whoa?


Malibu Grand Prix

I could really get into that epileptic nightmare opening shot.



So, I’ll be staying away from Raleigh for awhile.


For more arcade hilariousness, check out The Devastator: Arcade, the latest issue of The Devastator comedy magazine. The Editor in Chief is Geoffrey Golden, whose article you just read. Header image via.