One sad truth about being a crazy person is that they do not know they are crazy. They simply live their life, day in and day out, piercing their scrotums with rusty nails while constructing hair dolls made from the locks of the redhead that works at the Coffee Bean on Sunset. It’s tough work, but someone’s got to do it.
We here at CraveOnline have taken the time to carefully come up with some questions to help you establish if you are, in fact, a crazy person.
Take the quiz and see how you fare!
How do you feel about kittens?
a.) I love kittens!
b.) Um… they’re okay, I guess.
c.) I hate cats.
d.) I’ve cleaned so much cat hair out of my blender.
You’re at a supermarket and another customer, say a heavy-set older woman, cuts you off with her cart… you think…
a.) I shouldn’t be such an aggressive shopper.
b.) No harm, no foul.
c.) Stupid jerk.
d. Imagine the look of surprise one her face when she discovers I’ve followed her home.
When I’m forced to choose between either chunky or creamy peanut butter, I think…
a.) I’m allergic.
b.) I don’t really care.
c.) Both have perks, but I guess I’d go with creamy.
d.) Which is easier to clean off my nipples?
What do you feel when a friend experiences a tragedy?
a.) I cry as much as they do.
b.) My heart goes out, and I lend a friendly ear.
c.) Shit happens.
d.) I try not to laugh in their pathetic little face.
How do you feel about the Showtime series Dexter?
a.) I prefer more family-friendly programming.
b.) I’ve never seen it.
c.) It rocks. I love it.
d.) It’s like watching my home movies.
Rank these three things in order of importance: A mother. A car. A candy bar.
a.) A mother, a car, a candy bar.
b.) A mother, a candy bar, a car.
c.) A candy bar, a car, a mother.
d.) All the objects cause me pain and cannot stop the pain in my soul.
When I get on airplanes, I…
a.) Am nervous and fidgety.
b.) Am calm and collected.
c.) Am apathetic.
d.) Think of how fun it would be to watch people get sucked out if one of the windows broke.
I find most other motorists are…
a.) Great drivers!
c.) Should be shot.
d.) I don’t drive. I find hitch-hiking gets me to where I need to be.
The publication I read the most is…
a.) Homes & Gardens.
b.) Rolling Stone.
d.) Self-Asphyxiation Quarterly.
If you answered mostly (a), then you’re doing just fine. Maybe too fine.
If you answered mostly (b), then you’re most likely not crazy.
If you answered mostly (c), you might want to let some things off your chest.
If you answered mostly (d), then you might want to think about stop sending David Letterman those letters with your own urine attached.
CRAVEONLINE is DOPE.