Time to get married to a movie actor who humped a pie on screen, acknowledge your sex life has become shitty, hire a prostitute to give your husband some mouth-love on his birthday, realize that your life has gotten weird and check out these links!
Celebrities Tweet About The Death of Steve Jobs
Kourtney’s tweet was especially profound. #sarcasm
Who Was Considered Evil Incarnate Before Hitler?
If you said “Mumm-ra,” you aren’t as far off as you should be. [image via]
Jason Biggs’ Wife Bought Him A Hooker For His Birthday
Surprise! This sex story is pretty awkward. [image via]
Woman Claims 3D Movie Got Her Pregnant
The father is a Transformer. Hopefully an Autobot, though the mother was really drunk when she saw the film, so she can’t be sure.
Highlights From #OccupySesameStreet
We are Anonymuppets. Expect us… to know our ABC’s.
That’s all for this edition of The Big List. Join us next week, when the links will flow like cherry wine. So fine!
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!