Peyton Manning, how we miss you so. Brett Favre, thank you for returning to the media. Jenn Sturger… where are you beautiful?
And now for the biggest surprises out of our beloved NFL's Week 4.
5. Cincy tells the Bills, "The buck stops here!"
I understand that's a terrible joke, but for years they have been a terrible team. I'm just trying to be a part of the group. Bottom line, someone finally ended the curse of Buffalo. They have royally screwed up a number of weeks for me and my fantasy football team. Unfortunately this happened in Cincinnati, and I of course have no Bengals on my fantasy team. Seriously though, why the hell would I?
We'll see how they fair this week as they head back home to the tundra and host the flailing Philadelphia Eagles. Who, by the way, are led by a man who no longer believes in them. Shame.
4. Chiefs finally win. Reportedly thought they were playing "English" football. Whatever works.
Oh damn, wait a second, we score touchdowns and are allowed to touch the ball over here in American football. Apparently no one informed the Kansas City Chiefs. Thanks to FIVE, yes I said FIVE field goals from their strong kicker Ryan Succop, the boys in red were able to secure their first win of the season.
Thank you Minnesota for being so understanding. Problem is that Chiefs fans, one being me, are a little pissed! I thought the plan was to lose out, snag Luck in the draft and kick Matt Cassel to the curb. And we know how good we are at kicking… We've proved it. Why the hell can we not just stay the course…
3. Parity is dead…
When the season started all we heard about was how the league was evening out. Well, in my own honest opinion, that hasn't completely happened. And I truly thought that it would. What actually happened was that all the good teams became terrible and all the terrible teams can't seem to lose.
Other than the fact that I now have to listen to a bunch of repressed fans get in my face because their worthless teams are actually good now, I have to admit that it makes Sundays quite a bit more fun. You never know what to expect.
Come back Peyton, please. It's no fun when the Colts blow.
2. Favre is not Aaron Rodgers biggest fan
Really though, who saw this coming?! It seems like the man who kept Rodgers from getting a job by perpetuating his old-man mediocrity would be proud of the young buck that replaced him and led his old fans to a new Super Bowl championship. Surprisingly enough, he has become quite the passive aggressive towards Green Bay's new golden boy.
"I'm really kind of surprised it took him so long," Favre said. "…he just kind of fell into a good situation. On top of that, he's a good player. I don't think there's any pressure on him now, the talent around him is even better than when I was there."
Tell us how you really feel Favre.
Maybe he's just angry and hurt because he feels like the fans that loved him for so long are now stepping out on him with someone else… Well Favre, maybe it's just full circle karma for sending pictures of your dick to someone other than your wife. Life's a bitch man, I know.
Check out what our other sports writer James LeBeau had to say about the whole Favre vs. Rodgers Situation.
1. Tony Romo squelches all rumors of greatness and proves once again that he still knows how to tell Cowboy fans to bend over and take it.
He lost a 27-3 lead in the second half. Do I really need to go into detail here? When he's good he's amazing, but when he's bad, he doesn't even deserve to play pee wee football in the state of Texas. He'd be required to go somewhere that kids don't even play that much football. Like, Finland, or something.
Romo, you're so mean to Texans. Why do you hate people who listen to country music?
Photo Credits: ASSOCIATED PRESS