Wail Mary: 6 Fighting Nun Videos

Forget slaps with rulers. They stab with ninja swords!

Geoffrey Goldenby Geoffrey Golden

We’ve all played with fighting nun puppets – those lame dolls with the boxing gloves you can punch your little sister with until they break in ten minutes. Surely nuns get more badass than that? Well, sisters have been known to trade their white coifs for black belts on occasion. Here are some videos of nuns in the habit (is this the first ever “habit” pun ever conceived? I’m included to think so) of kicking ass:


Never Mess With The Orphanage…

God may show you mercy, but these ladies won't.


Ninja Nuns

My car always gets dents when I park in a lot, and now I know why.


This Is How Nun Brawls Start

Now to start some nun brawls!


Nun with Nunchucks

There’s something else peculiar about this sister, besides the Nunchuck skills. Hmm. Hmmmmmm.


Nun Fight Club

The first rule of Nun Fight Club: don’t talk about the cocaine.


Lindsay Lohan in Machete

Bad quality video, but you’ll get a taste of the nunsploitation. Nun fighting starts at 1:24. NSFW (or church) stuff starts at 48 seconds. 


Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Header image via.