Rules That Shouldn’t Be Followed

Why, Mom???

Kyle Krinerby Kyle Kriner

We all know there are plenty of things our parents told us to do as children that we didn't quite understand the reasoning behind.  Eat your vegetables, brush your teeth, clean your room, sleep in the dark, carry a lunch box, keep your retainer in your mouth…Too far?  Sorry.  

Childhood was tough, needless to say.

Anywho, when we get older we see the logic behind these things and even start to do them ourselves.  But some just never seem to compute.  There are some of these rules that society has deemed important that my brain still can't wrap around.  Hence why most kids won't follow them.  But today, one rule in particular has me completely baffled; "Elbows off the table!"
I don't see how placing your elbows on the table is any sort of breach of etiquette.  It's far more comfortable than keeping them hanging and cleaner than having them in your lap.  And for me, it gives me the stability I need to guide my food into my mouth smoothly.  Yes, I have a toddler's eating habits by the way.
So the question must be asked…Is there some sort of safety issue with placing your elbows on the table?  I mean, did some pilgrim child accidentally place his elbow in scalding hot gravy during the first Thanksgiving, leading to the amputation of his arm, an infection from the wound, and death within days?  Maybe it's just an old wive's tale.  Kind of like saying "stop making that face, or it'll get stuck that way," which happens to be another lame way for parents to get their kids to stop having fun.
Which brings me straight into what I think the real issue is; parents need control.  I can't speak for every parent in the world, but from what I've seen, most parents learn to love, and I mean LOVE, the control they have over their children.  Hell, after having their own personal slave in the house for eighteen years, they dread the thought of them leaving the nest.  I've seen some pretty controlling parents, and you won't convince me that it's always just because they love their child.  I may be overreacting, but I honestly believe that the stupid "elbows off the table" rule is little more than an extension of that power.  It's a snowball effect, and things only get worse from their.

Don't let it get this bad.

So if you're past the age of five, maybe it's time to evaluate your priorities.  How important is it to keep your elbows off the table?  Will you make your kids do it?  Will you be a vicious power monger that gets off on your child's weakness?  Make the choice.  I think I've given you enough information to make the right one.  Here's a hint: Put your elbows wherever the **** you want!!!