Episode Title: "Heart of Archness, Part 2"
Writer: Adam Reed
If the previous episode of "Archer" was too tame for you, then you'll be happy to hear that the latest installment brought back the usual brand of insanity.
Continuing where we left off last time, Archer was declared the new Pirate King after the failed attempt by Rip Riley (Patrick Warburton) to get him to come back to ISIS. And apparently, being the Pirate King is a dream come true for Archer. He gets to sleep with as many beautiful native girls as he wants, institute karaoke nights and a lacrosse league and never work for his mother, Mallory (Jessica Walter) again.
Of course, Archer's idea of fun and piracy doesn't sit so well with the other pirates, especially when it means that they aren't getting any "booty." The Pirate Slave named Noah (David Cross) is now reluctantly Archer's second mate and the unappreciated Jimminy Cricket to Archer's out of control Pinocchio. Even when Noah warns that a mutiny is imminent, Archer doesn't see how the problems of the other pirates could possibly affect him. As long as he's happy, why isn't everyone else?
As it turns out, Rip isn't Archer's dad as I suspected last week. And it's probably just as well after Archer had Rip locked in the dungeon to prevent him from bringing Archer back to ISIS. Archer also manages to piss off the pirate known as Bucky (James Hong), who goes on to form an insurrection against the so-called Pirate King. When Archer is forced to defend his Pirate throne against Bucky's ridiculously huge "girlfriend," Archer simply pulls an Indiana Jones and shoots the larger man to retain his crown.
Hilariously, Archer probably burned the page out of the pirate manual that expressly forbids firearms during the King Fight, and thus he wins a technical (and brief) victory. Cross actually brings a fresh voice to Archer's world through Noah's constantly bewildered reactions to Archer's actions and his simultaneous attempts to make Archer understand just how badly he's screwing up. If by some miracle Noah survives the final part of the story, I'd like to see him stick around as one of Archer's sidekicks.
On the home front, Cyril Figgis (Chris Parnell) finally goes a little crazy after trying to make the ISIS budget work and he begins siphoning the funds off into hidden Swiss accounts. And when Pam Poovey (Amber Nash) catches him in the act, he does the unthinkable… and sleeps with her. There's a certain creepy humor from Amber Nash's voice as Pam starts the "seduction" by asking to watch Cyril as he's "jackin' it." For those of you keeping score at home, Cyril is now the third ISIS employee that Pam has bedded… after Mallory and Lana Kane (Aisha Tyler).
And on the way to save Archer, Ray Gillette (Adam Reed) goes on a ridiculous shopping spree and picks up a yacht and apparently a slave boy for a week. And when he gives Lana crap about her possibly still simmering attraction to Archer, Lana may have accidentally put out Ray's eye… unless it shows up fine in the next episode or so.
"Heart of Archness: Part 2" suffered from being the middle episode in this trilogy by not advancing the story very far at all. Warburton's Rip Riley was sidelined for most of the episode, robbing us of more banter between two of the best voice actors in animation. I'm still hoping that what Rip told Archer about the possibility of him being Rip's son was a lie. They're just too perfect playing off each other.
On the other hand, I'm getting a little tired of Ray's excessive expenditures. His antics just weren't funny compared to his jokes in the previous episode and the last two episodes seemed to have used an inordinate amount of time getting Ray and Lana to the pirate lair for the conclusion.
As stand alone episode, this was still a good "Archer." But it will probably seem a lot stronger when played in order with the other two parts of this episode.
These are your top five "Archer" moments of the episode:
Archer: "Noah, I'm half drunk and slathered in every bodily fluid there is. So yeah, this is about as Pirate Kingy as I'm going to get."
Noah: "King Fight! If the king loses to a challenger in one on one combat, he has to step down. Or just be dead."
Archer: "Since when?"
Noah: "Oh… since 19Always!"
Pam: "Is that internet porn?"
Cyril: "Um… yep! Just jackin' it."
Pam: "Can I watch? Or is that weird?"
Cyril: "It's… kind of weird."
Pam: "Is it?"
Archer: "Nope! Fair is… well, it wasn't exactly fair. But since it wasn't expressly forbidden… tough titties! Wow… I never realized how much we rely on idioms."
Rip: "Archer! What a coincidence, cause I was just talking about you"
Archer: "With who? Cause that bucktoothed little s*** doesn't even speak English."
Bucky: "I do, little bit."
Archer: "No you don't!"
Bucky: "And correct syntax is 'With whom?'!"
Crave Online Rating: 8 out of 10.