Hey single dudes!
Are you tired of being passed over by the fairer sex?
Wish you had bigger muscles…and bigger game?
Have you ever been hit in the head with a folding chair?
Well there's a faster way to get some play, just follow these 5 pieces of dating advice. With their ripped physique and natural charisma, pro wrestlers have been getting the girl for over a hundred years now. But, like the moves they perform in the ring, there is a secret to all of it. Wrestlers aren't scared to 'take what's theirs' and don't adhere to things like 'the social contract' or 'decency'.
Pay attention to these 5 nuggets of wisdom, and you'll be "body slamming" with a chick in no time!
TIP 1. "Size does matter bitch!" -Scott Steiner aka "Big Poppa Pump"
If your biceps don't look like Elephant Man growths, you're not doing it right. You should be able to crack a walnut between your butt-cheeks. Girls want to treat you like a piece of meat, so you'd better be the rarest steak in the shop.
Also, call women your "freaks". They love that.
TIP 2. "Put the brakes on the mundane and accelerate into the fast lane." – Rick "The Model" Martel
The lesson here is twofold. One, smell like Rick Martel. Two, have money. Lots of money. You need to be constantly seen in leisure mode: playing polo, driving with the top down, looking at yourself and laughing manically. No girl wants a man who's doing regular things like treating her with respect or avoiding debt.
And blow dry your hair; you look stunning that way.
TIP 3. "Get respect. Prison Rules Style." -Jamie Noble
Ladies want to know they're with the pack leader; so make sure to seek out the tallest guy and challenge him. Just like in prison. Even if you lose; women love taking care of their injured white knight. Make sure she's present when you kick the guy's ass or she'll never believe you.
For women, seeing men fight over them is an aphrodisiac.
TIP 4. "Get some pie." -The Rock
The Rock knows all about getting some "poo tang" pie. And when you need to seal the deal you could do worse than follow the lead of "The People's Champ". If the above song's story is true then here are the steps to getting a woman, via The Rock:
- Have your car break down
- Get a boner
- Approach the farm house of a hot blonde
- Ask to use the phone
- Eat her pie, her grandmother's pie, her aunt's, and the pie of the Chinese neighbor
- Tell Slick Rick how tough it is to be The Rock
TIP 5. "…Repeat TIP 4." – Mark Henry aka "Sexual Chocolate"
If she doesn't drop her skirt the moment she hears this you're hanging with the wrong women: