So all this week along with our normal comedy channel gold (it’s all gold), we’ll be sharing our thoughts and observations of the increasingly pervasive Hipsters. Don’t worry; this unfair attention won’t even faze them, they’ll be happy to ironically like our coverage. Hipsters have become so well known for liking things ironically that a “like ironically” button is in the works for Facebook. Or it would, if Hipsters hadn’t abandoned Facebook like it was a proverbial hot potato with major social networking potential.
Speaking of liking things ironically, we should probably put a stop to that. The threshold of what is and isn’t a good thing is already stretched thin enough by forced consumerism and polite gift acceptance. Hipsters going around with things depicted on their shirts they don’t even like (or understand), are starting to forget what we actually like. Imagine if nations used flags as indiscriminately as Hipsters wear shirts.
I noticed you planted a flag in the center of my virgin unclaimed nation.
Ehhh. I just did that… like because.
So do you or you don’t lay official claim to this piece of wilderness?
Whatever. Give it to Spain.
But to end my digression, here are my tips for finding Hipsters in a place near you. Wait! Have I been capitalizing Hipsters this whole time? It’s not like they are an ancient tribal people. Ok… well I’ve been doing it “ironically” then. Sword cuts both ways Hipsters.
First stop on any hipster hunt are the local organic coffee shops. The key here is the word “organic”. You won’t find hipsters at a Starbucks or even a local, family owned coffee shop that isn’t putting out green super-biodegradable cups. Take the idea of coffee consumption to the level that it’s almost not fun anymore and hipsters will be there.
Think of these things as hipster bait.
The same can be said about music stores. Walk right past the local CD emporium, and tip-toe past any record store that doesn’t cut so deep as to have 8-tracks on the shelves. Hipster music isn’t just on vinyl; it’s on the rare, limited press vinyl that nobody else has. Only one store in any major city is going to have that in stock. If this record store isn’t THE record store. Move along. If you’re poor small town doesn’t have a big exotic record store with long lost artifacts of music then you need to hit the swap meet to find your hipsters. In fact swap meets are a great place to find hipsters regardless. Also check farmers markets, and other outdoor festivals.
Hunting hipsters at night is another thing altogether. The key place to set your trap is still around music, but this time it has to be live. Just forget about regular music venues unless the act used to be famous more than 10 years ago, or has some other ironic appeal. Boy Bands and Pop starts ARE a good place to find hipsters, because watching music you hate is something they like to do. I once considered going to see an Opera. When that failed, I went just to remain the most elitist pompous person in my zip code.
When it comes to non-traditional music venues in your hipster hunt you’ll have to be a little “in the know” about where the cool kids are making music. You’re average hipster music venue is probably a bakery or an art gallery. Bars are seldom a good place to find hipster music, unless that bar serves Pabst Blue Ribbon… because that’s like mothers milk to hipsters.
(Secret: PBR is not great beer, it's just cheap beer. We ALL love cheap beer. Stop pretending it’s something it’s not. If it wasn't all about being cheapness you wouldn't also support MGD. Just saying. )
So now that you know where to find Hipsters… CAN you find them?
Check out this helpful Hipster Bingo Card I found online. How many can YOU get?
I got bingo in four minutes by walking into an America Apparel