So there’s this guy you Americans seem to find funny. His name’s Tracy Morgan. You find him funny not because of his superior wit or intellect, but because of his outrageous outbursts and his off-topic, controversial babblings. Tracy Morgan’s a very rich man, and he has accumulated his mass amounts of wealth on account of these derivative, often imbecilic slurs.
Last week Morgan went onstage and made some typically stupid and ignorant comments about homosexuals and homosexuality, but suddenly the laughter stopped. The US was blindsided by Morgan’s “hate-filled rant”, and Morgan was presumably blindsided by the fact that those offended by his ramblings weren’t just the fuddy-duddy PC Police who usually find him so insufferable.
Over here in England we give a lot of money to our football/soccer players. Their salaries contain huge, life-affirming, ludicrous amounts of money considering the task they are being paid to achieve (kicking a ball about on a bit of grass), and footballers themselves are notorious for having so little common sense that it’s frightening to imagine them being allowed to own a pair of scissors, let alone £50 million.
As giving them such a bafflingly large sum of money roughly equates to giving a toddler nineteen bags of pick ‘n’ mix and then expecting him/her to shut the fuck up and go to bed, the footballers take their cash and blow it on booze, hookers and drugs, before waking up to a shocked nation of ‘disappointed’ parents and crying children. While they scratch their caveman heads and wonder what on Earth else there is to do with £50 million other than booze, hookers and drugs, Tracy must also be wondering exactly what he has done wrong.
You’ve tuned in for years to watch him gleefully avoid coherency and generally be completely bat-shit insane, doing so enough to warrant him becoming a multi-millionaire, and now suddenly there’s boundaries? While it’s nice to see such a large amount of people standing up for what’s ‘good and right’, you can’t applaud Tracy for 15 years for being a loudmouthed moron and then scold him for becoming even more loudmouthed and moronic.
But everyone took to Twitter anyways, with Chris Rock stating that he doesn’t “want to live in world where Tracy Morgan can’t say foul inappropriate shit” (before quickly retracting the comment with an apology and condemnation of Morgan’s words), Alec Baldwin simply tweeting “Oh, Tracy” and 30 Rock creator Tina Fey being quoted as saying “it doesn’t line up with the Tracy I know”. What, the Tracy who you employed on the basis of his wild and eccentric offscreen persona?
Let’s just be honest with ourselves here; the only reason you watch Tracy Morgan being wheeled out onto Letterman, Conan and co. is to hold your breath and wait for a car crash that you pray is imminent. Search his name on YouTube; among the top viewed clips are ‘Tracy Morgan Wasted on Live TV’, ‘Tracy Morgan appears on WGN in an, um, interesting state’ and ‘Tracy Morgan Killed Osama bin Laden’. See, it’s official. You bloody love it.
Does it make it right what he said? Of course not. Did he mean it? How the bloody hell should I know. All that matters is that when he offends, he is rewarded with dollar signs. What would you do in his position?
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