March Movie Guide

All the films you can't miss this month - and a few you should steer clear of.

Johnny Firecloudby Johnny Firecloud

March Movie Guide


With more action and adventure than most Summer blockbuster months, March is shaping up to be a phenomenal month for films! Grab some popcorn and cancel your plans for the next few weeks – there’s far too many must-see films on the way to leave the theater anytime soon. 




Starring: Johnny Depp, Abigail Breslin, Isla Fisher

Directed By: Gore Verbinski

Opening: March 4


A sheltered chameleon, living as an ordinary family pet, faces a major identity crisis. After all, how high can you aim when your whole purpose in life is to blend in? When Rango accidentally winds up in the gritty, gun-slinging town of Dirt — a lawless outpost populated by the desert’s most wily and whimsical creatures — the less-than-courageous lizard suddenly finds he stands out. Welcomed as the last hope the town has been waiting for, new Sheriff Rango is forced to play his new role to the hilt — until, in a blaze of action-packed situations and encounters with outrageous characters, Rango starts to become the hero he once only pretended to be.


CraveOnline’s Call:  Don’t expect any leaps of innovation, but Rango looks like a fun time for everyone. Depp as a wisecracking lizard isn’t the worst idea to come along, and we’re definitely up for some lighthearted fare these days. 



Take Me Home Tonight


Starring: Topher Grace, Anna Faris, Michelle Trachtenberg

Directed By: Michael Dowse

Opening: March 4


Recent MIT grad Matt Franklin should be working for a Fortune 500 company and starting his upward climb to full-fledged yuppie-hood. Instead, the directionless 23-year-old takes a part-time job behind the counter of a video store at the Sherman Oaks Galleria. But, Matt’s silent protest against maturity comes to a screeching halt once his unrequited high school crush, Tori Frederking, walks into the store. When she invites him to an epic, end-of-summer party, Matt thinks he finally might have a chance with the girl of his dreams. With his cynical twin sister Wendy and best friend Barry, Matt embarks on a once-in-a-lifetime evening that will change the course of their lives on one unforgettable night in the Go-Go ’80s. 


CraveOnline’s Call:  With the stain of Spiderman 3 still strong on his image, Topher Grace may finally step into his own with this harmless retro comedy. We wish we could say the same for Venom…



The Adjustment Bureau


Starring: Matt Damon, John Slattery, Emily Blunt

Directed By: George Nolfi

Opening: March 4


On the brink of winning a seat in the U.S. Senate, ambitious politician David Norris meets beautiful contemporary ballet dancer Elise Sellas – a woman like none he’s ever known. But just as he realizes he’s falling for her, mysterious men conspire to keep the two apart. David learns he’s up against the agents of Fate itself – the men of The Adjustment Bureau – who will do everything in their considerable power to prevent David and Elise from being together. In the face of overwhelming odds, he must either let her go and accept a predetermined path…or risk everything to defy Fate and be with her


CraveOnline’s Call:  With the current political climate and cultural cannibalism at such a nightmare level of intensity, a film like this could catch some serious fire. We’re all waiting on the next season of Mad Men with baited breath, so this dose of John Slattery couldn’t come at a better time.




I Am


Starring: Marc Ian Barasch, Noam Chomsky, Desmond Tutu

Directed By: Tom Shadyac

Opening: March 11


Director Tom Shadyac speaks with intellectual and spiritual leaders about what’s wrong with our world and how we can improve both it and the way we live in it.


CraveOnline’s Call:  I Am is an utterly magnificent film that asks the right questions at a time of critical impasse in world history. Do everything you can to see this film, and bring everyone you know with you. Films like these open eyes and inspire change. 



Red Riding Hood

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Max Irons, Virginia Madsen, Gary Oldman

Directed By: Catherine Hardwicke

Opening: March 11


Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) is a beautiful young woman torn between two men. She is in love with a brooding outsider Peter (Shiloh Fernandez), but her parents have arranged for her to marry the wealthy Henry (Max Irons). Unwilling to lose each other, Valerie and Peter are planning to run away together when they learn that Valerie’s older sister has been killed by the werewolf that prowls the dark forest surrounding their village. For years, the people have maintained an uneasy truce with the beast, offering the creature a monthly animal sacrifice. But under a blood red moon, the wolf has upped the stakes by taking a human life. Hungry for revenge, the people call on famed werewolf hunter, Father Solomon (Gary Oldman), to help them kill the wolf. But Solomon’s arrival brings unintended consequences as he warns that the wolf, who takes human form by day, could be any one of them. As the death toll rises with each moon, Valerie begins to suspect that the werewolf could be someone she loves. Panic grips the town as Valerie discovers that she has a unique connection to the beast–one that inexorably draws them together, making her both suspect…and bait.


CraveOnline’s Call:  You get what you pay for on this one…. wait. No. When the "pay for" part includes both an arm and a leg, you’re entitled to expect more from your cinematic experience. 



Mars Needs Moms


Starring: Seth Green, Joan Cusack, Dan Fogler

Directed By: Simon Wells

Opening: March 11


Take out the trash, eat your broccoli—who needs moms, anyway? Nine-year-old Milo (Seth Green) finds out just how much he needs his mom (Joan Cusack) when she’s nabbed by Martians who plan to steal her mom-ness for their own young. Produced by the team behind “Disney’s A Christmas Carol” and “The Polar Express,” “Mars Needs Moms” showcases Milo’s quest to save his mom—a wild adventure in Disney Digital 3D™ and IMAX® 3D that involves stowing away on a spaceship, navigating an elaborate, multi-level planet and taking on the alien nation and their leader (Mindy Sterling). With the help of a tech-savvy, underground earthman named Gribble (Dan Fogler) and a rebel Martian girl called Ki (Elisabeth Harnois), Milo just might find his way back to his mom—in more ways than one. 


CraveOnline’s Call: Do you really need guidance on this one? Martians steal a kid’s mom so they can learn mothering techniques, and he spends the movie trying to save her. Let’s skip the whole "3D is a headache & overpriced waste of time" argument and just go with "No" on this one. 




Battle Los Angeles



Starring: Michelle Rodriguez, Aaron Eckhard, Lucas Till

Directed By: Johnathan Liebesman

Opening: March 11


For years, there have been documented cases of UFO sightings around the world – Buenos Aires, Seoul, France, Germany, China. But in 2011, what were once just sightings will become a terrifying reality when Earth is attacked by unknown forces. As people everywhere watch the world’s great cities fall, Los Angeles becomes the last stand for mankind in a battle no one expected. It’s up to a Marine staff sergeant (Aaron Eckhart) and his new platoon to draw a line in the sand as they take on an enemy unlike any they’ve ever encountered before.


CraveOnline’s Call:  If Armageddon and 2012 had a baby, then made sure it had a cheese-removal operation, it would be Battle Los Angeles. In other words – GO!





Starring: Robert DeNiro, Bradley Cooper, Anna Friel

Directed By: Neil Burger

Opening: March 18


Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro star in Limitless, a paranoia-fueled action thriller about an unpublished writer whose life is transformed by a top-secret “smart drug” that allows him to use 100% of his brain and become a perfect version of himself. His enhanced abilities soon attract shadowy forces that threaten his new life in this darkly comic and provocative film.


Aspiring author Eddie Morra (Cooper) is suffering from chronic writer’s block, but his life changes instantly when an old friend introduces him to NZT, a revolutionary new pharmaceutical that allows him to tap his full potential. With every synapse crackling, Eddie can recall everything he has ever read, seen or heard, learn any language in a day, comprehend complex equations and beguile anyone he meets—as long as he keeps taking the untested drug.


Soon Eddie takes Wall Street by storm, parlaying a small stake into millions. His accomplishments catch the eye of mega-mogul Carl Van Loon (De Niro), who invites him to help broker the largest merger in corporate history. But they also bring Eddie to the attention of people willing to do anything to get their hands on his stash of NZT. With his life in jeopardy and the drug’s brutal side effects grinding him down, Eddie dodges mysterious stalkers, a vicious gangster and an intense police investigation as he attempts to hang on to his dwindling supply long enough to outwit his enemies.


CraveOnline’s Call:  A thrilling twist on the Flowers For Algernon tale unfolds with Cooper and DeNiro in center spotlight. Cooper looks to be at his best, and DeNiro’s shed the Fockers goofiness for a return to frightening intensity. People will be talking about this one.






Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig

Directed By: Greg Mottola

Opening: March 18


Simon Pegg and Nick Frost reunite for the comedy adventure Paul as two sci-fi geeks whose pilgrimage takes them to America’s UFO heartland. While there, they accidentally meet an alien who brings them on an insane road trip that alters their universe forever. For the past 60 years, an alien named Paul (voiced by Seth Rogen) has been hanging out at a top-secret military base. For reasons unknown, the space-travelling smart ass decides to escape the compound and hop on the first vehicle out of town—a rented RV containing Earthlings Graeme Willy (Pegg) and Clive Collings (Frost). Chased by federal agents and the fanatical father of a young woman that they accidentally kidnap, Graeme and Clive hatch a fumbling escape plan to return Paul to his mother ship. And as two nerds struggle to help, one little green man might just take his fellow outcasts from misfits to intergalactic heroes.


CraveOnline’s Call: It’s bound to be goofy, it’s bound to be predictable, but there’s no way we’re skipping it. Might have to catch it on DVD, however. 



Sucker Punch


Starring: Carla Cugino, Vanessa Hudgens, Jena Malone, Jon Hamm

Directed By: Zack Snyder

Opening: March 25


Close your eyes. Open your mind. You will be unprepared. Sucker Punch is an epic action fantasy that takes us into the vivid imagination of a young girl whose dream world provides the ultimate escape from her darker reality. Unrestrained by the boundaries of time and place, she is free to go where her mind takes her, and her incredible adventures blur the lines between what’s real and what is imaginary. She has been locked away against her will, but Babydoll (Emily Browning) has not lost her will to survive. Determined to fight for her freedom, she urges four other young girls–the outspoken Rocket (Jena Malone), the street-smart Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens), the fiercely loyal Amber (Jamie Chung) and the reluctant Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish)–to band together and try to escape their terrible fate at the hands of their captors, Blue (Oscar Isaac), Madam Gorski (Carla Gugino) and the High Roller (Jon Hamm). Led by Babydoll, the girls engage in fantastical warfare against everything from samurais to serpents, with a virtual arsenal at their disposal. Together, they must decide what they are willing to sacrifice in order to stay alive. But with the help of a Wise Man (Scott Glenn), their unbelievable journey–if they succeed–will set them free.


CraveOnline’s Call: Rawr! A steampunk fantasy world sprung from the mind of a Girl, Interrupted type, with jaw-dropping action and adventure. Zach Snyder gave it his all, and we’d be fools to let this one pass without a closer look. Check it out.