Photo: Ghislain & Marie David de Lossy (Getty)
Even though we use the day after Valentine’s Day to remind you all that it’s time to go back to hating each other, we’d like to think that here at Mandatory we are pretty optimistic. Wait, that’s not the word we’re looking for, the word we’re looking for is ‘realistic.’ Yes, that’s it. And if you’re coupled up on Valentine’s Day than we truly, truly feel for you.
If you happen to be single on Valentine’s Day than you don’t have to worry about going over the top and being super romantic. Which means that proposing to your lady on a hot air balloon won’t ever be an option — you know, because chances are you will crash and burn. Or the balloon will.
And if you’re single on Valentine’s day, not only do you not have to worry about breaking your leg on a failed hot air balloon romantic gesture, but you also don’t have to worry about your partner saying ‘yes’ to that proposal, and still ending up shooting you on your wedding day just like bride Kate Elizabeth Prichard shot her new husband.
OK, those are extreme examples. But if you’re single then you don’t have to spend your day cutting everything you owned with your girlfriend in half. That just takes a lot of effort. Plus, who wants to spend the day at Costco buying a new television?
When you’re single you only have to answer to yourself, not to anyone at all. But if you’re not single be prepared to sign your name to a contract, a contract that manages your video game time…
Or be prepared to wear a shirt with your partner’s face on it…
Or a list of rules before you go on vacation…
And just think, if you aren’t single, your partner will probably hate the gifts you get them on this holiday and you will be forced to write 144 compliments about them. Hey, it’s happened before.
So don’t worry, single folks, forget the chocolate, the flowers, the stuffed animals, the super pricey dinners and just focus on the only person that matters: you.