People Got Hopped Up On Flakka, Stripped Naked And Started Barking While Showering In Soda Water

Flakka is a hell of a drug.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: bert_phantan (Getty)

Strong “Headline of the Year” candidate.

According to The Kansas City Star, at least four people got all messed up on flakka in the Missouri town of Sullivan last weekend and then “went on a rampage, barking and yelling, breaking into buildings, even stripping off their clothes and showering in soda water.”

“We had multiple incidents this past weekend of people on some kind of substance acting out of their minds,” Sullivan Police Lt. Patrick Johnson said. “Barking like dogs, running up and down the street, or other farm animals, entering people’s homes, breaking into a business, yelling outside of local businesses. We saw a lot of activity this weekend.”

It’s unknown what led to such an outburst of flakka use by the Sullivan residents, but our guess is that they all of sudden realized that they live in Sullivan, Missouri and were willing to do anything to forget about that chilling thought. I mean, other than grabbing a delicious roast beef sandwich from Lion’s Choice, it looks as though the next best thing to do to pass the time would indeed be a shit ton of flakka.

Great things coming out of the Midwest these days: Kansas City Detective Forced To Shut Down Interrogation Because Of Suspect’s ‘Loud Fart’