Somebody Allegedly Put Semen In The Detroit Airport Soap Dispensers

So, yeah. Gross.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Womem washing of hands with soap foam. Photo: F3al2 (Getty).

Other than doing your best Shooter McGavin impression and eating a piece of shit for breakfast, I can’t think of anything more disgusting than washing your hands with another man’s seed.

Well, according to Fox News, that’s exactly what passengers were doing inside Detroit Metro Airport’s North Terminal last week while using the facilities there.

Semen Allegedly Found In Detroit Airport Soap Dispensers

You see, kids, authorities believe some sick fuck threw some of his ejaculate into several North Terminal soap dispensers. Then, when respectable adults and children went to lather their hands with soap after dropping a deuce, they were actually covering their paws in an unknown male’s sperm.

Officials with the airport are saying that the “bodily fluid is not spit,” but they aren’t releasing any further details. Still, it doesn’t take a Harvard graduate to figure out what some poor travelers were lathering their hands in last week. At least one employee who cleans the bathrooms at Detroit Metro believes it wasn’t a passenger, but a worker who did the dirty deed.

“I don’t even know how someone would find the time to do that,” Jamilia McClendon said. “You can see it is kind of busy around here right now. The way the soap dispensers are under the sink, a passenger wouldn’t know how to get up under, and untwist them,” she said. “It really is disgusting.”

Upon hearing the disturbing news, passengers were obviously none too pleased about it.

“So I just used the men’s bathroom, I just washed my hands and coming to find this out,” traveler Matthew Demers of Clinton Township said. “It is a little disgusting.”

A little? Hell, I’d seriously consider cutting my hands off after finding that out.

semen in soap dispenser

Odds are she didn’t sign up for this treatment: Female Patient Says New York Doctor Ejaculated In Her Face