Earlier this year we told all you folks about the pretty damn good excuse one dude gave his girlfriend after being caught naked in bed with another woman. And while that excuse was pretty good, the explanation that the dude in this story gave after being caught cheating is something you have to read to believe.
A woman named Bella took it to Twitter to show everyone the incredible explanation her now ex-boyfriend came up with to try and explain why he allowed another woman to give him oral sex. It’s truly mind-blowing.
this nigga cheated and… pic.twitter.com/t1I416fXjW
— bella (@bxllaneira) July 31, 2017
Here’s the first part of his explanation.
Oh, it gets better.
This dude is incapable of writing a sentence that makes sense so allow us to summarize what he said: This guy is trying to convince his girlfriend that if he didn’t allow that woman to give him oral sex she could have left the bar, probably walked into the street drunk and most likely would have gotten hit by a car. And he believes that the dude who would have hit her with his car would have kids — kids that would grow up without a father because he would be in prison. And because these “kids” would grow up without a dad they wouldn’t be a doctor or a lawyer and they wouldn’t be able to cure cancer.
While people are divided over whether Belle should take him back or not, some folks were on this boat:
you better still be his watermelon head after that performance.
— (@xJD97) July 31, 2017
While others were on this boat:
She need to leave him anyway bc he clearly is not educated well in spelling
— big baby (@BruhChilI) July 31, 2017
Someone tell that dude to stop skipping English class.