Man Builds The Tree House To Dominate All Tree Houses

Ahoy, tree house!

Erik Fontanezby Erik Fontanez

Remember back to when you were a kid? Life was simpler and you didn’t have bills or a job you hate, and your level of responsibility was dwarfed by what it is now. Yeah, good times.

It was back then that things like tree houses were the go-to spots for hanging out and letting your imagination run wild, with no limitations on what your towering fortress was capable of being.

Now imagine if that same imagination was applied in real life. That’s basically what this guy did when he built this monster of a treehouse that towers over and decimates any and all other tree houses.

Man Builds Tree House To Dominate All Tree Houses

An Arizona man built a massive 35-foot-tall, 40-foot-long tree house in the theme of a pirate ship, and dammit, this thing is incredible.

The engineer of this enormous thing is Steven Hill, a 48-year retired attorney with a hell of a lot more time on his hands than you or me. He said he spent 14 months building the glorious structure, using roughly a ton of lumber. That’s a whole lot of wood, you guys.

“It took a lot of math, calculation, stress, engineering and tension,” Hill said, via Yahoo News. “I built it to last.”

Hill’s grandfather was apparently good friends with Walt Disney. Yeah, the real Walt Disney responsible for Mickey Mouse. The two were tight, which we can only assume means this epic tree house was inspired by Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

Hill doesn’t have kids of his own, which makes one ask why he would devote so much time and energy to such a thing. His answer? These local kids gotta learn some history.

“If it weren’t for these movies by Disney most kids would have no idea what the ship is or why it looks the way it does or anything,” he said. “The movies have reminded children that there was a time in our history when things were very different.”

Good looking out, Steven. But hey, can grown-ups get in on playing in that tree house? Asking for a friend.

And now for another man who’s definitely not winning “Father of the Year,” but for a very different reason: Dad Photoshops Daughter Into Mildly Dangerous Situations