2012 NBA Draft Drinking Game

Drink up. It's gonna be a long night.

paul-ulaneby paul-ulane

Unlike its baseball and football counterparts, the NBA takes up only one night to draft the league’s stars of tomorrow. Still, after the top three or four picks, you probably won’t have any idea who these teams are taking. That’s why it’s all the more important to make sure you’re drinking enough. So strap on your drinking boots, stock up the fridge and settle into your ass groove on the recliner. It’s time to turn this draft into a draught.

Take One Drink
–Every time David Stern gets booed
–Every time Anthony Davis’ unibrow is mentioned by an announcer
–If a draftee is wearing glasses without lenses
–If a player’s suit has three or more buttons
–If a player’s mother cries
–Every time we see grainy footage of a foreign player in what looks like a high-school gym

Take Two Drinks
–Every time an ESPN announcer gets booed
–Every time Stuart Scott uses a word that’s not in the dictionary (usually these include suffixes like “-donkulous”)
–Every time Anthony Davis’ unibrow is a part of a fan sign
–Every time we see video inside a team’s “war room”
–Any time a commentator mispronounces a foreign player’s name
–Every time a white, American-born player is selected
–Every time an ESPN reporter breaks a trade before it’s officially announced on stage
–Any time a draft pick takes the stage wearing a bow tie
–If a player’s dad cries

Finish Your Beer
–When the last player in the green room is selected
–Every time the Knicks fans boo their own pick
–When Spike Lee gets interviewed about the Knicks pick
–If a drafted player climbs out of the stands to take the stage
–Every time a senior gets drafted

Do a Shot
–Any time the same player gets traded more than once
–Every time John Calipari is on camera
–If you watch the entire second round

Chug a bottle of Jack Daniels
–Every time Dick Vitale says something insightful

Punch Yourself in the Face
–If you’re a Portland Trailblazers fan, because that’s way more enjoyable than spending the night listening to cautionary tales about the next Sam Bowie or Greg Oden